As I sit here, on my porch, listening to the wind blow through the leaves, the birds chirping, and my children inside, playing, laughing, I cant help but constantly think about all I have missed when I was high, all I dont remember. All the milestones I didnt get to record, all the “firsts” with them.
But as I sit here, Hearing all these things, seeing all of them with MY own eyes, and not the eyes of an addict, it bring joy and happiness to my heart and soul, I see the whole world so differently now, my 5 senses are better then they have been in a long time, the tree’s, sky, stars and moon are brighter, my childrens laugh is louder and not so muffled, when they wrap their arms around me, I can actually feel it, im not numb to my emotions, and I feel their emotions as well.
The love I have for my family grows stronger and stronger with every single day. Every day is one more day that I am not high, that I enjoy my children and husband, and they enjoy me.
If you are stuck in an addiction, and on the verge of becoming clean, but cant quite get over that hurdle, or cant quite take that first step, let me push you towards the light, just a little bit, because once you see it, you will want to get there so much quicker, and believe me, its worth it! I will not lie, it is hard as hell, you will have good days and bad, you will fall, and you will want to give up at times, but I assure you, IT WILL BE WORTH THE FIGHT!!!
Just keep fighting the good fight, and never give up on who you strive to be…
This is not the post I wanted to post yet, just a quick thought, I will be posting about why I chose to get clean, its a tough one for me.