This is my family, my husband Devin, who in my eyes, is a Super Hero, in every aspect in my life. He has withstood every late night, every fight, every seziure, every late night run to the ER, every late night run to get my fix, he has been by my side through the depths of Hell. He has helped me with the addiction, and even though a couple times he let go, he has always come back, our love alone has conquered this desease, and our love has prevailed.
My kids, they all are my strength, motivation, energy, will power and they teach me patients every single day! They all have experienced and have been with me through out my desease, I have done some horrible things and was not the best mother, and never got the mother of the year award for sure!
As I sit out in the woods with my husband, watching for deer, I sit and ponder how beautiful nature is. How I can hear the birds chirping, the crickets as It becomes dusk, the smell of the pine tree’s among us, the smell of the dirt and leaves we sit on. My 5 sences are at its best, and I see so much beauty in the things around me. The slow wind as it moves through the weeds and makes them sway back and fourth. The happiness that this brings to my husband as he sits next to his wife, so alert, not drugged up, that happiness, and the happiness of my children is what gives me motivation to keep going, to keep putting my recovery above anything else, my recovery always includes my family, their strength is what gives me strength.
An addict in recovery needs an amazing support system, they need to know they have someone to turn to at any given moment. If you dont have a good support system, chances are, a relapse may be in your future.
A little over 2 years ago, before my wedding I had a relapse, the stress of the wedding, things going on, I just COULDN’T take it anymore and I took the first pill that would send me whirling back into addiction, no one knew. And I was living a lie. Everyday was a lie, my whole life was a lie. This relapse lasted a little after the wedding. Something had happened that would change my life, my addiction.
The Wednesday after the wedding I got a phone call, the phone call that would give me the push to get help. An old friend of mine had died due to an overdose. I knew, then and there I had to stop!
A week after that, I walked into the doctors office, an addiction specialist, the first Doctor I had found that actually cared. I walked in there lost, broken, no where to turn, after all, I couldn’t turn to my family yet, because this relapse was a secret, the only people who knew were the people I got the drugs from. We talked about my treatment plan, and I talked to a councler and social worker. When I walked out of that office, I knew this was it, this was the beginning of the rest of my life, and If I didn’t get clean now, I would have been dead before my 31 birthday.
I needed support, so I had to tell my husband. I was scared he was going to leave me, I was scared he would hate me, and never trust me again. Little did I know, he would be the complete opposite. He has been on my side from day 1, and he will always be by my side.
ADDICTS IN RECOVERY NEED SUPPORT, THEY NEED TO KNOW THEY ARE NOT ALONE, THEY NEED YOU!! If they don’t have the love and support they need, I believe recovery is not possible.
HATE THE DESEASE NOT THE ADDICT…
This was just a little post from my phone, As I sit here in the woods, it gets me thinking about things I want to talk about, things that may pop up in my head I need to get in a post, please bare with until I get a computer. I will he posting a lot about addiction, how to get help, resources, support groups among a lot of other important things That I want to cover about events in my addiction and my treatment.
If your an addict, just never forget, you are not alone… If you are a parent, sister, brother, Aunt, Uncle, Grandma, Grandpa, friend, always remember, you are not alone! I want to share a facebook sight that I find very helpful for parents of addicts called “I am a parent of an addict” Check it out…
Will be posting soon, LOVE TO ALL!!!
And all the addicts in recovery, CONGRATULATIONS, One breath at a time, one second at a time.